Just Reach Out

Have you ever been encouraged by someone reaching out?

They remembered your birthday and wanted to wish you well. They thought about your upcoming operation. They knew you might need some encouragement after a hard week. It’s heartening to get their message, their phone call, their note in your mailbox at church, or for them to stop for a chat after worship.

Such a small thing: a twenty-five-word text message, a five-minute conversation, a simple card from the drugstore.

Yet it unmistakably communicates love and concern. It can brighten a dark mood, dissolve loneliness, restore confidence. The impact of someone reaching out seems entirely disproportionate to the small amount of effort it took on their part, yet that does nothing to diminish its blessing. It matters.

The apostle Paul ministered constantly to others, but he was also ministered to. In 2 Timothy 1, he gives a glimpse of how Onesiphorus blessed him by reaching out: “He often refreshed me and was not ashamed of my chains, but when he arrived in Rome he searched for me earnestly and found me” (vv. 16–17).

Apparently, this brother had frequently encouraged Paul in his ministry. And then when the apostle came to Rome, even in the disgrace of chains, Onesiphorus reached out to him. This simple gesture impacted the apostle deeply and served to cheer him in a bleak time.

This is a lesson for pastors in the midst of busy ministries: Reaching out is a simple activity that can have a notable effect. Broadly speaking, we want to care well for the church by being dispensers of encouragement, conveyors of hope, and teachers of truth.

The reality is that we’ll rarely have enough time for hour-long visits with several different people each week. But we want our ministry to embody (albeit imperfectly) the love and concern that Christ has for his people. And one of the ways that we can do this is through reaching out.

     •  Someone has a minor medical procedure scheduled for tomorrow, so you send a brief message to let them know that you’re praying for them.

     •  You saw a member crying after the worship service yesterday, so you phone to see whether everything is alright.

     •  One of the deacons served well by organizing a congregational event, so you write a short email of thanks and encouragement.

     •  An older couple has their wedding anniversary this week, and you know it’s been a hard year for them, so you send them a card.

When I was in ministry, I called it “looking for an excuse” to get in touch. In one way or another, I wanted to let people know that their pastor was still there. Maybe someone happened to mention that somebody else had been sick for the last week or two—that was my excuse to reach out to the ailing member. Maybe in my quick review of last month’s pastoral visits, I recalled something that needed following up—that was my excuse to call and ask.

Then there were times when I didn’t have an excuse but just an urge, an instinct, maybe a nudge from the Holy Spirit that I really should connect with someone. Such efforts are rarely wasted.

Reaching out requires a few things, of course.

It requires you to listen attentively during your conversations, picking up on the hints and casual comments that suggest something here that’s worth following up on.

It requires you to remember, to note key dates, to jot down important things that people share, and to prompt yourself to follow up at a suitable time.

It requires you to take the time to do it. Even though a phone call or text message won’t consume a large part of your day or week, you still need to set aside a few moments to get it done.

It requires you to care, to look “to the interests of others” (Phil. 2:4).

Reaching out to someone doesn’t always generate lengthy pastoral interaction. Sometimes that twenty-five-word text message is answered with a two-word text message: “Thank you.” The brief phone call about yesterday’s tears might end up being the longest conversation you have with this member all year. But it can be part of building a good relationship.

It can lay the groundwork for deeper connections in the future.

Like all pastoral activity, reaching out must be done in a genuine spirit of love. Just because it took negligible effort and minimal time doesn’t mean that we should do this in a perfunctory manner. Just because the church “hired” us to care for people doesn’t mean we should treat this like another professional service. As pastors, we should be praying regularly that God’s Spirit would keep fresh our love for his people, that he would keep real our interest in their lives.

Because when we do love, we will reach out.

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Reflection: When you reach out to someone, what message is conveyed to them about God, the church, the gospel, and you?

[Excerpt from my forthcoming book, The Ministry of Small Things]