Portrait of a Lady

You’ve probably all seen the Mona Lisa, Leonardo’s portrait of a lady.

Looking closely, you notice lots of details about her person: the crossed arms, her elegant clothing, the beguiling smile, and so on. But you can also step back and get an overall impression. That’s what the first verse of the Proverbs 31 portrait gives in verse 10, the overall view:

An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.

I want to highlight that word “excellent.” Behind it is a Hebrew term used about 200 times in the Bible; almost every time it describes an army, a group of warriors, and refers to qualities of courage and strength. So it’s a striking word for verse 10 and again for verse 29, “Her children rise up and call her blessed” (or excellent, or noble).

What does this woman have in common with an Israelite warrior like David? She is disciplined. She is devoted. She is ready to put her hand to the task. And she marches forward in God’s strength.

That makes her highly valued: “more than jewels.” Elsewhere in Proverbs we read how God’s wisdom is like a treasure: something to be desired (3:13-15), something to be sought out (2:4), even worn proudly, like a necklace (3:3). This woman is described in the same terms—as a treasure—yet she is far better than material things. Like it says in 19:14, “House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD.” For those in her life, this woman is a true gift from God.

“The Hard-to-Get Woman”

All the same, this passage begins with that dangerous question: “An excellent wife who can find?” This kind of woman is hard to get! Not because a virtuous wife is so rare, but because she isn’t always desired. And neither is being a noble woman always aspired to.

Already in Old Testament times, people reduced the standards of womanhood. It was about physical appearance instead of character and spirit. Hear what the LORD says in Isaiah 3:16—and keep in mind, these are the ladies of the church: “The women of Zion are haughty, walking along with outstretched necks, flirting with their eyes, tripping along with mincing steps, with ornaments jingling on their ankles.”

Compare that to today’s portrait of a desirable woman. You often get a reminder of this at the check-out stand in the grocery store. Or there’s a million social media posts featuring the perfect woman and her perfect life. The ideal woman is attractive. She is dressed stylishly. She is fulfilled, but not necessarily by the mundane things of marriage or motherhood or service. No, she’s fulfilled by her exciting career and world travels. For such a woman, image is everything. This is how the Bible characterizes worldly wisdom—and it’s true of women and men—worldly wisdom is when I live for myself.

Maybe you don’t buy the magazines or follow the influencers. But don’t we still want to be “conformed to the pattern of this world?” Part of us still wants to win our society’s approval. At the very least, we want to escape its ridicule. Call it the fear of man, instead of the fear of God.

So there’s a good reason the Holy Spirit says in verse 30, “Charm is deceitful, and beauty is vain…” We have to resist the worldly ideas of beauty and worth. Appearance and charm, success and wealth, position and possessions, will only fade, while holiness endures. To live wisely then, is to arrange everything in our lives around our love for God and his truth.

Whether single or married or widowed, that’s the calling for a woman of wisdom. She’s not just another pretty face, she’s a disciple of Christ. It reminds us how the Spirit pictures a Christian woman in 1 Timothy 2:9-10, “Women should dress modestly, with decency and propriety, adorning themselves, not with elaborate hairstyles or gold or pearls or expensive clothes, but with good deeds, appropriate for women who profess to worship God.”

The Woman Up Close

“Adorning themselves with good deeds”—that’s a good place to lean in and look a little closer at this portrait. We’ll look at her heart, her mind, and her hands:

1) a heart that is worshipful

We start with the heart, because Proverbs says it’s from the heart that flow all the springs of life. That’s verse 30: “A woman who fears the LORD is to be praised.” In her heart, she fears God! For what kind of God is he? He is Creator of heaven and earth. He is our Saviour, he is Judge, he is King and Renewer. We know him as our Good Shepherd, our Righteous Defender, our Rock and Fortress, our Sun and Shield. We know him as our God and Father and Husband in Jesus Christ.

If you start there, no wonder this is the woman’s response to God: she fears him. Awake to his glory, she sees that God is far beyond us in majesty and holiness. The closer we get to God, the better we see the reality of his glory and we are humbled.

The Proverbs 31 woman kneels in awe at his splendor. In whatever happens, she’s ready to acknowledge God’s power, depend on his grace, and thank him for his goodness. To nurture a worshipful heart, how important to keep growing in God’s knowledge!

I know it’s hard to have time for reading Scripture and communing with God in prayer—it’s difficult, when we’re trying to get our stress under control, balance the household budget, get the kids in line, or keep the boss happy at work. “Quiet time” can seem like a nice idea, but entirely unrealistic.

But nothing is more essential to the “wise life” than knowing the Author of wisdom. To do that we need to be immersed in his Word. Being in the Word daily, deeply, and devotionally will set before us the glory of the Triune God—and that’s the knowledge that can bring light to every corner. The Spirit exhorts us in Proverbs 4:7, “Wisdom is supreme; therefore get wisdom. Though it cost all you have, get understanding.”

2) a mind that is sensible

If we could peer into this woman’s mind, we’d see good judgment. See what this woman does in verse 16; she has the intelligence to carry out real-estate transactions. Her prudent mind is also evident in verse 27, “looking well to the ways of her household.” This woman knows the comings and goings of her family and sees that all things are well-ordered. And this has good results. For example, verse 21 says, “She is not afraid of snow for her household, for all her household are clothed in scarlet.” She can look at the little crises of life with a calm spirit. Things aren’t going to fall apart at the first sign of trouble.

To use our minds like this, to exercise our intelligence and practical know-how for the work set before us, is a great blessing from God. Sometimes there’s the idea that it’s less spiritual to be organized, that it shows more faith to be spontaneous and take life as it comes. And we should know the limitations of any human planning.

But a sensible mind can be a great help in serving the Lord. For example, every family would benefit from a well-thought-out household structure, from the schedule on the fridge to stocked cupboards. Such things provide a backdrop of peace and stability so that other important things can get done in the home: activities like worship, and nurture, and fellowship.

3) and hands that are busy

Fully one half of this passage sees her busy with the work of her hands. Verse 17 sets the tone: “She dress herself with strength and makes her arms strong.” This is one active woman, selecting wool and flax (v. 13), doing her spinning (v. 19), and making garments (v. 22). She’s even got a business going (v. 24). Somehow she is a night owl as well as an early bird (v. 15). It’s quite a list, but let’s remember that for her in her context these are normal activities.

There’s nothing flashy about this life, but it’s many little things done well.

That’s the kind of life we all live. A woman today can be busy with a very different set of duties. Maybe you’ve seen that piece about the many roles that a mother has in the home: she is a chauffeur, she is a Math and English tutor, she is a chef, a coach, a psychologist, a cook, a seamstress, a laundress, she is a doctor, a financial advisor, a general manager, and probably several more. Having seen my wife in action for 24 years, I know how that portrait is not far from the truth.

Now, I also know that work can feel like a never-ending slog. Sometimes the busyness of life feels like a prison, not an opportunity. But Scripture gives the right perspective. This is what Paul says, “Do your work with reverence for the Lord” (Col 3:22). Then in the next verses, “Whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord, not for men… It is the Lord Christ you are serving” (vv. 23-24).

For there is great honour in serving God by serving others. And there is joy in tackling your daily work with all your heart, whatever that work is. If we are conscious that we’re doing this task for the Lord, then it can be nothing less than an act of holy worship for God. This is what one writer said, “Christ moves among the pots and pans.” And He also moves among the pencils and notebooks, and among the spreadsheets and folders.

Christ isn’t far from us when we’re working, not if we’re doing it for him. “Do your work with reverence for the Lord.”